Wants

Tag: chase

  • I wanted not to be with family and I wasn’t alone

    I wanted not to be with family and I wasn’t alone

    Keywords: {0}

    My made family did a Thanksgiving, which I have done many times for many other holidays, including Christmas, many times. I love those holidays. There is no watch what you say, moments of feeling worthless, having to fight to be considered a grown-up (even though I’ve taken care of myself all by myself for 20 years) I don’t cry on the holidays I spend with my made family. I feel wanted. Family why do we let them get by with so much more than we do other people? I can honestly say I have cut off some of my family members and it’s amazing, tricky because some of the family I still talk to and love, and they love me which is an important factor, and some of them want the traditional idea of family. Family is an interesting thing but it’s something we are all chasing.

    https://lifeofasinglegirl680382845.wordpress.com/2023/07/04/family
  • I want to feel the urgency, the rush, the feeling that you can get caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing

    I want to feel the urgency, the rush, the feeling that you can get caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing

    Keywords: Blogger , love or be killed , new book , teaser , writing

    I think that’s exactly why I’m not sure I’ll get out of the deep end like some people. I won’t learn from this. I won’t be lucky enough to grow from the lessons learned. Instead, I’m willingly pushing myself down further because seeing him with anyone else provides me with a gut-wrenching feeling. Not like most people who have watched their ex move onto someone else and it tore them apart. For me it’s more of a tightening and sickening feeling, because I know seeing him with someone else doesn’t mean I’m jealous. It means I’m scared and not for myself, but for them. I’ve hidden in the shadows patiently waiting for his next victim, but I’m always too late. Each time a new woman appears I don’t have enough to actually get the bastard. I love him, but not in a way a woman should love a man. I love the chase. I love the thrill that I almost catch him every time and yet he’s still always one step ahead allowing me another day to plan my next move. Even though I know it’s numbing every piece of my existence and is slowly killing me from the inside out, I can’t shake the feeling of loving the game so much it puts me in danger.

    https://momof3video.wordpress.com/2023/05/24/prologue

  • maybe i just want to be caught, secretly

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    maybe i just like being a tad bit out of reach, but not so out of reach that i am gone. not so out of reach that no one can reach me anymore, that i’m in my own place far away from reality.

    https://margheritaswords.wordpress.com/2021/08/13/you-cant-catch-me
  • Isn’t this what I wanted?

    Isn’t this what I wanted?

    Keywords: {0}

    I wanted to be away to escape unresolved issues I had been stuck with my whole life but once the dust had settled, I found myself looking elsewhere again. What if I’m always going to be stuck in limbo? What if I can’t shake off the idea that the grass is going to be greener on the other side, only to be disappointed once I get there? I don’t know how to stop chasing the elusive notion of happiness without succumbing to the thought that this is probably it. As I sit on the cusp of adulthood, I find myself growing increasingly restless. With places to be, people to meet and stories to write, I still don’t know what it is that I want to say.

    https://fawnedof.wordpress.com/2021/06/04/on-the-other-side