Wants

Tag: people

  • I developed a self defense mechanism that is next to impossible to differentiate between genuineness and what I want people to see

    I developed a self defense mechanism that is next to impossible to differentiate between genuineness and what I want people to see

    Keywords: mental health and self care , mental health , self hate , self realization , self resilience

    This is what I call “the mask”. Developed for myself when I was just nine years old and have worn it ever since. Behind this mask, you would never know just how tormented, pained, lonely, depressed, anxious, sleepless, kind, sweet, thoughtful, helpful, and truly different I am. The mask just shows feigned happiness, outgoing, socially interactive while hating everyone, and deceiving I can be. The mask itself was created to deceive people from being too nosy in to my business. Sadly, it still works to this day 20 years later. The mask deceives people into thinking I’m a people person, that I actually care about how overly forced my social attentiveness is to everything, that I’m happy go lucky, and living the best life ever. In reality, I’m not happy go lucky and won’t be. My social attentiveness is more about how can I persuade people to spend more money and have them think that it was their idea to begin with. Me being a people person is completely laughable because I’m simply not a people person at all.

    https://ageminisparadigm.wordpress.com/2022/09/01/a-little-more-about-me
  • My desire to not want them is stronger than my desire to have them

    My desire to not want them is stronger than my desire to have them

    Keywords: {0}

    A little over one year ago, my world was rocked – I was incredibly depressed and felt as if I had no reason to live. That started a trek of finding out who I really am. A few things – for me personally, I find great joy in helping other people. I am a server; I gain fulfillment in helping and in solving problems/finding solutions. I like being a part of something. A year ago, I was in a position of questioning all that I had leaned on — and found that it was built on sand. It was like the tide came in, took the sand, and my little beach house of 23 years caved in.

    https://aubreyeicher.com/2013/06/29/what-drives-you
  • Am I looking for a life of excitement because I lack one, or because I have calloused my heart to the small joys around me in search of a greater joy somewhere else?

    Am I looking for a life of excitement because I lack one, or because I have calloused my heart to the small joys around me in search of a greater joy somewhere else?

    Keywords: people

    As I sit here, I’m beginning to realize that the looking glass which holds the life I dream of living, has become a glass wall that’s been stopping me from living the one I’ve been given, only letting me peer out to see what I feel is missing.

    https://annaboley.wordpress.com/2021/02/14/liturgy-of-the-ordinary

    Featured image source: https://annaboley.wordpress.com/2019/04/09/split-second-lives

  • The people I REALLY want to spend my time with are the people who are DOING it

    The people I REALLY want to spend my time with are the people who are DOING it

    Keywords: Food for Thought

    The ones who are scrapped up, bloody, tired, frustrated, getting dirty and dusty and spending their dime and their time making their dreams COME TRUE… and loving every minute of it. The people who have the guts to act and change their lives. Those are the people who are shouting at you from the plastic lawn chairs…’You can do it’ or ‘Go for it’ or ‘Woo Hoo’…and the ones you hear through muffled water, shouting, and cheering and whooping it up while you are gasping to get back to the surface. They are the ones who know how you feel when you face the fear, adversity, challenges, indecision, insecurity and again the fear. They are the true compadres of life, and if you don’t have a group of friends, family,, supporters like that then find them. Work hard to develop that group and cherish every hour you get spend in their presence.

    https://annartgallery.blog/2011/01/26/look-out-below-cause-here-i-come
  • I always wanted to create a space for people like me

    I always wanted to create a space for people like me

    Keywords: Personal Story , Tech Career

    This is the community I once needed.
    This is my way of giving back.

    https://behindtechcareers.wordpress.com/2026/02/09/it-took-me-10-years-to-find-my-voice-in-tech-heres-why-im-finally-writing
  • I wanted to experience everything

    I wanted to experience everything

    Keywords: random , christianity , depression , faith , religion & spirituality

    I wanted to see how other people live. I was internally vibrant in this way that I can’t now imagine feeling. But I can see Faith feel it.

    https://kathrynleighaz.wordpress.com/2025/03/07/kates-trail-angels
  • Writing like this, is how I prefer to write, yet it’s not how I perceive I’m supposed to write

    Writing like this, is how I prefer to write, yet it’s not how I perceive I’m supposed to write

    Keywords: desteni, Equal Life, La Grua, Mind Consciousness System, personality removal, seven year journey to life

    The way I perceive I’m supposed to write is, highly articulately, didactically structured, and in a focused manner so as the readers sees where I’m going, gets the point and learns something. Well, I’m the reader, and the point is that within and as me as the mind is a lot fragments and they’re all over the place – it’s really messy; my fingers and keyboard are my broom, and the screen for this mess is the dustpan and garbage bag. Thoughts of going out with others, going for a drive over the mountains, it’s garbage – most of it. Why, because when these thoughts come up there is a feeling associated with them that perhaps I should be doing this kind of stuff, it’s what I used to do and I still can do, so why not do it – get away from the keyboard for a while. I’ll tell me why. Because it’s not me wanting to do these things; it’s not an expression of me that says “I’m going to go to the beach because that’s what I’d enjoy doing right now or tomorrow.” Honestly, it’s not what I enjoy doing right now or what I want to do. Right now and over the last several months and off and on for a long time now, this process of sitting in front of my computer, studying, investigating, writing, etc., is what I’ve decided to do, and so shall I continue doing so until I start to see what else it is that I am able to do to assist myself and all as me to free ourselves from our self-imposed prison cells of slowly but surely disintegrating into nothing or perhaps another cycle/season of Lost in Hell. Hell is, not being here in absolute control of self. Hell is not being absolutely self-directed in every moment and knowing with absolute certainty which direction I am heading and why I’m heading in that direction. Hell is being trapped into and as a mind of which I have not control over. Bliss is ignorance, and my goal is to remove this “bliss” from existence, wake up those who didn’t or don’t want to know; welcome to Hell. I must say that I feel better already; that pit in my stomach is just about gone.

    https://thomaslagrua.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/day-57-hell
  • I want my work to be rewarding and I want to feel productive most days

    I want my work to be rewarding and I want to feel productive most days

    Keywords: work

    I want to be helping people in some form and I want to be able to collaborate on things with people. I can’t imagine being holed up in an office all day alone. My dream job allows me to take a nice long lunch break too, so I can go on a walk to a nice restaurant with some coworkers and debrief about my morning.

    https://pinkdinosaurs70084588.wordpress.com/2023/04/10/my-dream-job
  • My favorite season is when I want to connect (people are either pleasure or the bane of my existence)

    My favorite season is when I want to connect (people are either pleasure or the bane of my existence)

    Keywords: culture vulture , mind matter , dailyprompt , dailyprompt

    You see, when seasons happen in your soul, the weather doesn’t matter much.

    https://alisonshines.wordpress.com/2024/06/11/playing-favorites
  • Even if I had all of the money in the world, I would probably want to be doing what I’m doing

    Even if I had all of the money in the world, I would probably want to be doing what I’m doing

    Keywords: {0}

    I got a job! It’s going to be working at a bike rental shop fixing and renting out bikes. Generally, I will be interacting with people and teaching them the joy of mountain biking every day. Sounds like a good vibe, and my fellow co-workers will definitely be spunky and energetic people. Obviously, this isn’t going to pay me as much money as working in big tech did, but that’s okay. If I wanted money, I would be doing that. I remember talking about building a life you don’t want to escape from in Heroin in Vietnam. While I was working for Amazon, I was obsessed with the idea of retirement. Optimizing and being as efficient with my money as possible to not have to work anymore. I’ve realized it’s a bit silly to do something you don’t like for the sole purpose of not having to do that thing anymore, but having more. I know that there is a constancy of work to life, and therefore even if I were to “escape” the corporate life, I would still have to do work every day. All of the money I made while holding a firehose of cash would probably just sit in an investment account for the rest of my life, and I could do what I wanted. I think, right now, I truly want to work at this bike shop.

    https://dersbersadventure.wordpress.com/2023/06/07/being-where-you-want-to-be