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I wanted great love too much for me to just give it up to someone I halfheartedly want just so I can prove to anyone that I can get a boyfriend anytime I want. Doing that would make me unfair not just to the [person] but to myself. It makes me a liar, a big liar to myself for pretending I can learn to settle with the choice I make after years of knowing I always believed in the opposite, I’ll be lying to the person if he thinks I’m giving him everything I’ve got to this so-called relationship. I’m not even going to pretend that I’m going to tell you guys I’m going to get married at age whatever, because I don’t know if at that age I’ve been blabbering about I’d be ready or if soulmate has already found me. I [may be] too dreamy or idealistic but my beliefs remain, I’m going to be committed to anyone when I think I’m ready and when I know that I really want it to happen not because of peer or societal pressure but because body, heart and soul unites to tell me it’s [time].
https://harebrainedrealisticdreamer.wordpress.com/2016/04/19/screw-it-im-gonna-get-a-boyfriend-or-get-married-when-i-want-to









![I [Ruth Mwanza] still want calm, consistency, and the feeling of love](https://wants.blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/whatsapp-image-2023-07-04-at-13.50.58.jpeg?w=860)