Wants

Tag: lover

  • I want to be back in the before

    I want to be back in the before

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    When we took the 1970’s motorcycle trip to Ralph’s farm with our friends and we got the room with the single bed. And we didn’t come out for days except to use the bathroom and to get an occasional bit of sustenance because we were discovering ourselves as lovers after our months of friendship. We wound up being perfect for each other and we burned with passion and couldn’t get enough of us. Everyone else on the trip, including our hosts, made our hedonistic behavior part of the lore of that farm. The couple who were like ghosts, covered in sweat, physically entwined and so zoned into each other that we never experienced anything but ourselves for those days. Yes, when we were legendary.

    https://reneerocks.blog/2025/02/01/when-we-were-legendary
  • We love each other

    We love each other

    I myself have come up with a hypothesis. I did this more or less by myself — and of course if you are familiar with my own ideas related to environment, habitat and so on, then you will take that remark about my own (singular) behavior with a grain of salt. 😉

    Why do I want to underscore my own quasi “singularity” this way? Because I want to contrast my own behavior with the plurality of lovers — which is precisely my hypothesis: love is a plural behavior. All participants in a loving relationship realize that it is based on the mutual recognition that the “other(s)” in the relationship both derive satisfaction from appreciating the other(s), but also derive satisfaction from pleasing one another. This activates not only so-called “mirror neurons” but also feeds the narcissistic hunger for self-worth (and via a positive self-image also ultimately contributes towards a positive and a positively meaningful self-actualisation — i.e. in the context of others).

    It’s just a hypothesis. If it were something more, then I might be more confident in following it up. But since I have no shortcomings about confidence in my own ideas, I will follow up as if it were something more.

    Thus, therefore, … When someone says “I love you”, they take reciprocation as given. Whether or not this reciprocation actually exists needs to be determined. And perhaps such reciprocity needs to be developed over time. We do not normally move from a blank slate to full-on love at first sight. Such fantasies exist primarily because they seem extreme (i.e. fantastic) … almost like ideal states.

    In real life love is only gradually proven.

    PS: featured image adapted from “Banksy Girl and Heart Balloon” CC0 image (see credit via openverse.org below)

    “Banksy Girl and Heart Balloon” by – Dom – is marked with CC0 1.0.