Keywords: desteni, Equal Life, La Grua, Mind Consciousness System, personality removal, seven year journey to life
The way I perceive I’m supposed to write is, highly articulately, didactically structured, and in a focused manner so as the readers sees where I’m going, gets the point and learns something. Well, I’m the reader, and the point is that within and as me as the mind is a lot fragments and they’re all over the place – it’s really messy; my fingers and keyboard are my broom, and the screen for this mess is the dustpan and garbage bag. Thoughts of going out with others, going for a drive over the mountains, it’s garbage – most of it. Why, because when these thoughts come up there is a feeling associated with them that perhaps I should be doing this kind of stuff, it’s what I used to do and I still can do, so why not do it – get away from the keyboard for a while. I’ll tell me why. Because it’s not me wanting to do these things; it’s not an expression of me that says “I’m going to go to the beach because that’s what I’d enjoy doing right now or tomorrow.” Honestly, it’s not what I enjoy doing right now or what I want to do. Right now and over the last several months and off and on for a long time now, this process of sitting in front of my computer, studying, investigating, writing, etc., is what I’ve decided to do, and so shall I continue doing so until I start to see what else it is that I am able to do to assist myself and all as me to free ourselves from our self-imposed prison cells of slowly but surely disintegrating into nothing or perhaps another cycle/season of Lost in Hell. Hell is, not being here in absolute control of self. Hell is not being absolutely self-directed in every moment and knowing with absolute certainty which direction I am heading and why I’m heading in that direction. Hell is being trapped into and as a mind of which I have not control over. Bliss is ignorance, and my goal is to remove this “bliss” from existence, wake up those who didn’t or don’t want to know; welcome to Hell. I must say that I feel better already; that pit in my stomach is just about gone.
https://thomaslagrua.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/day-57-hell
Wants 