I want to want things

Keywords: want , desire , thoughts , levi , engaged

I do not know if I have always done this or if this has just started in the last ten years or maybe less. Something has shifted as I have become an adult paying rent and living on my own. I am more worried and sleep lighter; always on alert. I used to enjoy things, now those things are fewer and further between. I have always enjoyed the activities of those around me, even if I came to be the one leading them, but I am not quite sure which activities I love and which ones I have learned to enjoy because of my social circles. I don’t really like anime, but I was an anime club president for a year and if you would like to watch one I will absolutely watch it with you (“No, you’re right. It was pretty cool.”) I enjoy going out but not as much as I like a small group on the couch chatting and playing games with changing rules. I used to write and sometimes I would paint. I used to make cosplays and try Harry Potter inspired cupcake recipes. I used to sing and laugh at work. When did I become unhappy? When did I stop wanting to be happy enough that I did the things that made me happy?

https://nesaspieces.wordpress.com/2021/02/25/what-do-i-want