I would rather spend my time writing out loud, visibly, rather than letting my thoughts sit in the dark

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Running away from responsibilities and fail to acknowledge short comings are the worst. I would rather live with humiliation than guilt. Guilt is worst, because guilt is internal. You can get over humiliation because you might know deep inside you that you are clean. But guilt is just that you failed yourself to take action in the face of discomfort.

https://qbooz.life/2020/11/13/the-world-show-up-to-you-when-you-arent-desperate