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Years later, I was working at Walmart and I had decided that enough was enough! I found out that Niagara College had a new Acting for Film and Television two year program and by Goddess I was going to apply to it! So, I did. I received a notice about the audition process and prepared for it the best I could, and when that day finally came, I walked into one of the classrooms that was being used for auditions and…I gave it my all. I was so nervous! I believe I shook the whole time I stood in front of this crowd of second year students and one of the faculty, I did my monologues and a joke. They genuinely laughed at my joke (the joke came from my daughter a couple days before my audition and I thank her to this day for it). I went home afterwards and tried to put the whole thing out of my mind, I knew I would drive myself crazy if I thought too much about it. I was crazy enough as it was, I didn’t need any help. The audition happened in February and I wouldn’t find out whether I got in or not until a couple months later, the longest damn months of my life! It was 2013 and I turned forty that April, and I can’t remember if the letter came in March or May, but I do recall coming home after picking my daughter up from school and checking the mail box on our way up the front porch. There it was, a large white envelope with Niagara College of Applied Arts and Technology emblazoned in the top corner of it. All I could do was stare at it (this envelope was its own little void), I couldn’t bring myself to open it, I was terrified to learn I had been rejected. My daughter, being ever the voice of reason, said, “Just open it Mom!”. So, I did. Let me tell you, I took my sweet time reading the letter that had been contained in that little void, I read the letter head, I read my name and address (had to make sure they got it correct), and then I let my eyes trail down a little more to where my fate and future hung in the balance. That’s when I saw it, one word that changed everything that day…’ACCEPTED’. I actually screamed and fell to my knees, I cried so hard, my daughter hugged me and then I think I ran back and forth like a cat on speed in the front hallway, just shrieking like a banshee.
https://sitaspell478061350.wordpress.com/2024/08/22/why-am-i-here-staring-into-the-void-and-it-stared-back
See also “Voiding and Avoiding the Void” [ https://socio.business.blog/2024/09/20/voiding-and-avoiding-the-void ]
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