These are my recent thoughts, take it or leave it

Keywords: depression , emotions , fear , hopelessness , life , lost , wonder

I fear that I’ll never find that soulmate and have another family. I’ve always gravitated toward people who have maternal traits or who possess a comforting and guiding trait. I fear to never allow someone in my life who would see that I am full of love and I can give back. I fear that my past limits my future. I fear that I cannot be transparent about the obstacles in my life that have shaped who I am today. I fear that I will not have an impact on people. I fear that I will never want to show love and accept love because of simply it not working out. I fear having expectations because I have continuously been dissapointed. I wonder if hope and prayer is just this false illusion that comforts us in the moments of despair and hopelessness. I’ve always referred to myself as a meandering lost soul. I continue to search for what my passion and drive is, but not certain of how to apply it to make me successful.

https://ellhines.wordpress.com/2018/04/24/fear

I will hit publish before my anxious self can get in the way and put fear in me to either not post or save this as a draft

Keywords: {0}

I want to push out of my routine and create a new one. A new routine where I write and take photos in addition to working. A new me where if I don’t get my workout in but laughed and played with my family instead I am ok with that. If I want to take some photos the dishes can wait. It’s easy for me to say but harder for me to do as I struggle with OCD and anxiety. I don’t want my children to grow up OCD or anxious like me. I want to encourage my children to grow and explore things and showing them is the best example. My son loves to write and so do I. I am always encouraging him to write but never taking my own advice. So here I am writing.

https://purplemessmom.family.blog/2021/08/06/take-my-own-advice

I want control and I don’t have it

Keywords: blog post , empowerment , fear , healing , self awareness , spirituality , stuck , worry

The mind is nuts. The awareness will return. Things will move forward when they are supposed to and it will all be fine. I know that. But for today, for right now, the mind is exploring the world of doubt and fear because it’s familiar and comfortable, and that’s okay too.

https://laurabungarz.ca/i-had-control

I feel like I am ready to try something a little bit out of my comfort zone – sharing some of my writing

Keywords: {0}

I have suffered with anxiety my whole life, for most of this time I wasn’t aware what was happening was actually anxiety. I just thought it was me, I’ve always been a worrier, there are definitely periods in my life where it has been a lot worse than other times and I am starting to be able to decipher which is which. I am learning that the more I allow myself to just be, to chase my own dreams and to allow the universe to guide me, the less anxiety I carry. Once I start putting myself under the pressure of what society expects of me, I move out of alignment. And each time I think of something I’d like to do, I tell myself there’s no way I could do it (including starting this blog). While I will be spending a lot of time telling you all to trust your gut, that process is always on going and each scary step that succeeds takes me one step further from that self limitation. Nothing happens overnight, but with a little bit of faith in the jump, a lot of wonderful things can happen.

https://journeytome.blog/2021/12/14/who-i-am

I want to learn to approach a very complex process with the mind frame I sometimes approach leaving my house when I think im forgetting something

Keywords: adventure , bicycle touring , cycling , lifestyle , solo travel

I ask “Do I have my keys, my wallet, and ’third item’?” The third item usually depends where I’m headed- if camping, a sleeping bag; if to work, my ID. The logic being is that If I can get somewhere, have a means to identify myself or pay for something, and perhaps one other necessary item, I can probably solve any problem. This usually allows me to simplify my day and calm any worries.

https://chroniclesofamelissa.wordpress.com/2021/04/17/intention-intencion