Despite all eight million outcomes of a life, it seems like mine is supposed to be here

Keywords: {0}

i’ve been wondering if i’m supposed to settle for someone or not trust my gut & shame myself for not having feelings for someone – like I should even though I don’t… I think it stems from a concern that I will never meet someone with the level of understanding & friendship that i’m dreaming of. but then I was listening to this song about this girl who met someone that feels perfect & right & I was like, I mean every love song in the world can’t be lying right. & then I decided that it’s just going to have to stem from faith. & for the time being, i’m going to trust my gut with these things & stop stringing things along that I know ultimately don’t feel right. so I guess you could say i’ve had this hesitant conviction to not lead men on so much. dot dot dot. eek. I can be selective, I rlly can. & not just go with the flow. I think I need to just do less going w the flow in general. nothing wrong w being a girl who knows what she wants. & I feel like in life & overall, I have a pretty decent idea of what I want.

https://mpru.me/2021/06/12/raw (visited 2021-06-12)

I deserve happiness

Keywords: the buildup , encouragment , mental health , rant , trauma , trigger warning , tw suicide , work

I want to have the tangible proof of my existence post-trauma. I want to be holistically evaluated for my progress between 2016 and now. I want to be unconditionally loved. I want to be listened to and believed and respected. These things take so much time. I am such a tired person. I am constantly planning, advocating for myself, and hoping and praying. I work my ass off.

Progress vs. Validation – Victoria Smith (wordpress.com)