These are my recent thoughts, take it or leave it

Keywords: depression , emotions , fear , hopelessness , life , lost , wonder

I fear that I’ll never find that soulmate and have another family. I’ve always gravitated toward people who have maternal traits or who possess a comforting and guiding trait. I fear to never allow someone in my life who would see that I am full of love and I can give back. I fear that my past limits my future. I fear that I cannot be transparent about the obstacles in my life that have shaped who I am today. I fear that I will not have an impact on people. I fear that I will never want to show love and accept love because of simply it not working out. I fear having expectations because I have continuously been dissapointed. I wonder if hope and prayer is just this false illusion that comforts us in the moments of despair and hopelessness. I’ve always referred to myself as a meandering lost soul. I continue to search for what my passion and drive is, but not certain of how to apply it to make me successful.

https://ellhines.wordpress.com/2018/04/24/fear

I try really hard to have the right perspective on things and it just doesn’t stay the way I want it to

Keywords: art , philosophy , #1 , animation , christian , comics , community , faith , god , krita , mental-health , psychology , spirituality

Growing up Christian, I was always asked to not focus on things below (worldly things) and on things above (God, eternity, etc.). Now, as I go through a crisis of faith, I find that really hard to do. I really don’t have any idea what I’m supposed to look at. Well, I’ve got a vague idea of what’s beautiful and true. However, aligning your perspective to something sounds like a big deal and I don’t know if what I know right now is of substance or worth committing to.

https://thefourthdimensionoflife.wordpress.com/2021/07/21/perspective